Dumped on New Year’s Eve
My ex of four years dropped a bombshell on me last week when he sent me a break-up text. Even though we have been rocky for a bit, I was rooting for us to pull through 2022 and start 2023 together. I am still reeling from shock, feeling confused, and emotionally paralysed. It sucks a lot more to lose your relationship during the holidays because it just means you’re ending the year on a sh*t note. To make things worse, it’s the season of couple pictures flooding Instagram. Everyone has been so used to me bringing him to parties that it’ll sting much more to show up single and be bombarded by questions. The urge to self-isolate, coop up, and binge-eat is real. But I’m not giving in to my emotions and impulses this time. I’ve been here before and my logical mind knows better. If you were dumped on New Year’s Eve and are reeling from a heartbreak right now, here’s why you should drag yourself to a social gathering tonight.
It’ll remind you that the world is bigger than you
I’ve always been an advocate for experiences. I think there is an underrated intelligence that can only be cultivated by experiences. It’s literally the most efficient way we adapt and learn. Reframing your heartbreak, from being a personal injustice to a compulsory experience of life, will help you reign in your emotions.
When we’re less emotional, we hurt less too. I’m not asking you to escape from your reality, but I’m asking you not to let fleeting emotions define your life. Feel them but remember they’re not you. The only way to counter these negative feelings is to trigger your sensory system with other endorphin-inducing stimuli.
Go out, meet people, laugh, drink, and make new experiences so that you can shed off the remnants of dead ones. We need to constantly make space for all the world has to offer. So, let go. Make the move to step out of your room and meet people. You never know what’s in store for you before 2023; you might meet a new love interest!
You have nothing to lose
Self-isolation is comfortable yet addictive in a toxic way, especially when you’re in a really bad state. I’ve been there before and it wasn’t pretty. I lost my appetite, I was bingeing on alcohol, and I completely flunked all my exams.
The thing is, none of that bothered me because I was locked in my own world. And I guess that’s why self-isolation can kill.
It hazes your world, keeping you dull and blocked off from the good that lies out there. You become blind to the love your friends and family are excited to give you, because you’re consumed by your pain.
Break-ups can hurt really bad but instead of spending a celebratory day alone, go hit your friends or family up. You don’t have to force yourself to be overjoyous but you can always talk to them about what you’re feeling and get their support. Trust me, it feels a lot better to know you’re not alone or alienated in your pain. You’ll realise that someone else might be in your situation too, and it’s always better to find an ally than to face your demons alone, especially throttling into the new year.
You get to own your break-up
I don’t usually preach channelling vengeance when you’re heartbroken because it can be self-destructive. But it is motivating and useful in the first few days. My ex broke up with me because he felt like I was holding him back from greater things. Basically, he just thought I was too uninspiring to be included in his ‘new year, new me’ resolution.
I think that’s why so many people break up in December. They’re figuring what they want to keep in their lives moving forward, and half of us get left behind. But remember, you’re being left behind in their world, not yours. You don’t have to confine yourself to their timelines. Own your life and your new year resolutions. Don’t beat yourself over someone who couldn’t find a place for you.
If you’ve always been an introvert and enjoy spending NYE alone, then by all means indulge in it. But if partying has always been your vibe, don’t become a pawn in their plan. Stay authentic and channel you so when you enter 2023, you’re doing so on your own terms only.
Being dumped on New Year’s Eve is an opportunity to grow
Remember, you are the master of your own fate. When it comes down to it, New Year’s Eve is just another day. So channel your hurt into productive things and emerge as a stronger person!
Tell us how you grew in 2022 below!