Addiction: Alcohol Abuse Stole My Best Friend From Me.
She was my ride or die
Van and I were best friends. She literally was my ride or die. We knew each others’ dirtiest secrets and for a long time it was ‘us against the world’. At one point of time I even wanted to get a tattoo for us to signify the special bond we had. All that was ruined by one thing: her alcohol abuse.
I introduced her to alcohol when we were teens
I guess you could say it creeped up on her — just like the notorious monster it is known to be. She was never much of a drinker before I knew her. I remember one time we forced her to drink before our virgin clubbing night. She went ham and ended up passing out right outside. That was her first taste of how intoxicating alcohol could be. Looking back, I still ask myself if it was my fault for introducing her to it. But it was a normal phase we all went through and I don’t think I should blame myself for her spiral.
Her grandma’s death sent her into a spiral
Months later, her grandma passed away all of a sudden. That’s when things got messy. She’d ask me to come over to ‘hang’ while she chugged alcohol to ‘keep her numb’. The pain of losing someone close to you must feel unbearable but I also knew how big of a black hole that could be if she started relying on substance to soothe the pain. But I let it be since it was still fresh and it wasn’t my place to teach her how to grieve.I found time to spend nights at her place as I did not want to leave her alone with her siblings while she grappled with her loss. Each time I went over, she’d have a glass in hand and empty bottles lying around. I noticed that she was chain smoking a lot more too. She’d pass out after awhile and I’d clean up her house because it was becoming borderline inhabitable.
Her alcohol abuse almost got her arrested
It eventually became a routine and that’s when I was sure she was addicted. Through all of this, she’d give me calls late at night, begging me to bring alcohol over if I had any at my place. All because she’d run out and the supermarkets nearby simply wouldn’t permit her from buying them post midnight. I obliged a few times, purely out of guilt. Yes I knew it was not the right thing to do, but I also did not want to go to sleep worrying about what she’d do if she did not get her fix.
Things got so bad, she even shoplifting from 7-11 once (and told me to keep a look out). I was shocked but I told her off and dragged her out of the mart. I asked her if she’d want to see a therapist or try get out of the house more. Saying that maybe socialising or finding another habit would help her get off the edge. She said she’d give it a shot. We signed up for a spin trial together. And we attended classes religiously for a week. I knew she was still drinking at night when she was in her room but at least she was mostly out of the house. And her mood seemed better.
I love her but I had to draw my boundaries
Then she relapsed so quickly and the second incident happened. She called me all of a sudden and insisted that I had stolen money from her sister’s wallet. She went on to say that it had to be me as I was the only one at her place. At this point I was speechless and pissed. Her sister then clarified with me that she suspected Van had stolen the money to buy a bottle of liquor. I haven’t spoken to Van in a week. But I think I’m done. It’s heartbreaking to see my best friend succumb to substance abuse but I know I have to draw my boundaries. I doubt I can trust her again but I hope she gets the help she needs from someone.
Have you ever lost someone to addiction? Did you guys reconcile?
