Tips to not get haunted by the supernatural
As I’m writing this article, my colleagues are excitedly getting prepared to attend Pelago’s ghost-hunting tour. F**k that. Having been haunted multiple times in my life, I’ve learnt not to tempt fate and mess with the supernatural. So I’m just gonna chill safely in the comfort of our office and dish out a few tips so that you and my colleagues can avoid dealing with possessions and hauntings at 2am.
Shut Your Mouth
I’m certain 90% of horror movies and real-life hauntings would not happen if people just knew how to shut up. Cemeteries, abandoned houses, and former war grounds are NOT places to be comedians. And shutting up doesn’t just apply to mocking the supernatural. Even if you see or hear something amiss, experience has taught me that it’s best to just ignore it and carry on with whatever you were doing.
When I was in secondary school, a bunch of us went for night-cycling at Old Tampines Road—an area that’s infamously filled with ghosts. As we were cycling, one of my friends, W, suddenly said “Do you think we’ll see a pochong?”
Readers, if you’re unsure of what a pochong is, kindly Google it yourself now because:
a. I’m too scared to put an image of it in this article
b. the punchline for W’s question is really dependent on you knowing what a pochong looks like
Assuming you’ve already Googled it, here’s what my friend, Z, retorted, “It’s okay. Even if we saw it, we can just knock it down. Not like it can get up and chase us.”
We laughed and literally three seconds after that, we heard someone whispering “Oh, you dare to mock me?”
We turned and saw Z slowing down to a stop.
At this point, I pretty much knew what had happened and was just cursing my luck. The rest of my crew, on the other hand, were still unaware.
As such, they got off their bikes and slowly walked towards Z. Me? I stayed where I was and was the furthest from Z.
“You okay, Z?”
At this point, Z was just sitting on the asphalt ground with his head down, sobbing.
“You okay, Z?” W repeated as he placed his hand on Z’s shoulder.
“DON’T TOUCH ME!” A demonic scream came out from his frail body.
A symphony of f**ks and sh*ts permeated the group as the rest of my friends realised that Z had been possessed.
By then, Z was writhing on the ground and it took three guys to hold him down. The guy was that strong. Thankfully, W had a strong religious background and managed to recite a couple of holy verses to calm the possessed-Z as another one of our friends called his uncle who was a preacher to come over. After a grueling two hours, we managed to get the spirit out of Z. From that day on, we stopped going anywhere near Old Tampines Road.
Bring Religious Texts Or Charms
The whole Z ordeal also taught me about the importance of having great religious support. Of course, this is dependent on what religion you subscribe to if any. As a Muslim, I now bring a mini holy book whenever I need to stay in a suss hotel room or chalet bungalow. And trust me, it’s helped a lot. In fact, one of the first things I do when I enter a hotel room is to recite a couple of holy verses and I haven’t been haunted ever since.
Immediately Bathe After Visiting A Haunted Spot
There are two schools of thought when it comes to what you should do after visiting a haunted spot. The first states that before heading home, you need to make detour to any random location in order to lose whatever’s following you.
The second school of thought states that you need to immediately come home and bathe. I belong to the latter. Here’s why.
When I was in uni, I was part of my school’s freshman orientation camp. This meant late nights of planning and organisation. One night, I was tasked to keep our equipment in the faculty storeroom. Now, this storeroom is known for being haunted. It’s so haunted that there’s a sequence of actions and announcements you need to do in order to enter it. That night, I was so tired that I neglected to do that sequence when I entered the storeroom. Mistake #1.
Mistake #2 happened when I got home. Because I was so freaking tired, I did not bathe and just slept in my room. A few hours later, at around 3am, I heard my sisters suddenly screaming and crying. Turns out, they heard a crying girl knocking on their door asking them to let her in. When they didn’t, the cries turned to laughter and they immediately screamed for help.
As I heard their story, I realised that “Oh sh*t, it’s my fault.”
Of course, I didn’t tell my family. But yes, always bathe when you’re back from visiting any place that might be populated with the supernatural.
Surviving a haunting
Thankfully, all of my supernatural experiences did not have lasting effects. If anything, they taught me how to be a more respectful person. So to my dear colleagues going on their maiden ghost hunting trip, I hope this article has helped you. And hopefully, y’all will return safe and sound.