The situationship that ended with me hurt and no longer believing in love
Relationships today are becoming more complicated. It used to just be “We’re together” and “We’re not together”. Now, there are many terms and stages in the relationship spectrum that it’s getting harder to keep track. The worst stage, in my opinion, is “the situationship”. It’s when two people do the things a couple would without the commitment and label.
And it sucks.
I should know because I was in a situationship before. With a guy that we’ll call G.
Prior to my “situation” with G, I was single for five years after being in two exclusive and clearly defined relationships.
G and I were in a situationship for six whole months and did everything a couple would minus the title.
If I’m being honest, the situationship itself wasn’t too bad.
It’s just that when you look at someone through rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. Unfortunately, I realised it too late.
Six months into our situationship, G thought we should just be official. Obviously, I wanted us to be official too but man, he really could have been more sincere about it.
He didn’t even ask me to be his partner or confess his love. All he did was just state that since we kept posting pictures of us together on our Instagram pages, we should just be official.
Even though it felt off, I agreed to it because I didn’t want to lose him and what we had.
The moment we got together, things went sour super fast. G had a sudden shift in attitude and became colder and more distant. He would claim that he was too busy to meet me. As his girlfriend, I tried to compromise with his schedule. I even offered to go over to his house just so that we could have meals together.
But nope. Apparently, he was “too busy” and that it was “too far and a waste of time to just meet for a meal and go home.”
As a result of this, we didn’t meet for a month. I felt that things between us were starting to get rocky and we might actually break up.
Lo and behold, we eventually did. Right before the eve of Chinese New Year, he suddenly called and said that we should talk. My mind started filling up with dread.
“I’ve lost feelings for you.”
I blanked out after hearing those words and was at a loss for what to do. He went on to complain about not having enough alone time for himself, and how I did not give him enough space.
I was confused. We only met once a week. Twice, AT MOST. So what space did he need?
I thought we were happy together but apparently, we weren’t. I did not want to end things there, so I insisted that we stayed together to see if things could be better. Perhaps I could be a better person for him.
Since Valentine’s Day was just two weeks away, I asked if we should go on a date. He didn’t want to meet me. So once again, I had to work hard to make things work. Despite his protests, I decided to get a gift for him and prepare a meal for him. So yes, I was doing the chasing again.
Valentine’s Day eventually arrived and I went over to his house to surprise him. Suffice to say, things were really awkward for us. After all, we’ve regressed back to a situationship. After a long silence, we started talking and he broke up with me. Again. This time, for real.
I’ve tried everything but it takes two hands to clap. I did everything I could to save the relationship despite the fact that he had probably made up his mind about breaking up. I just don’t understand how we could be so happy together for six months only for things to end so abruptly.
Is there a moral to this story? Not really. The only takeaway I had from it is that it’s totally possible for people to break up on Valentine’s Day. It’s been nine months since we broke up and I am still healing. I tried to give love a shot after putting up a wall for five years, and failed. I’m not sure if I’ll ever have the courage to believe in love again. But I’ll survive.